Dam The bloody Chinese Paper 1 Common Test I had today. It cause me soo much Anxiety that i Smach my Electronic Dictonary. Wasting a wopping 28 Bucks!! Fuck the bloody Common tests!!!!!! Yesterday, 26 April 07', My cousin's birthday turn out to be a bad omen to me. The Chinese common test paper 2 was a difficile paper!!
When the paper came the entire class was soo shock to see such a long comprehension passage.
Thanks to this bloody long passages, we did'nt manage to finish the dam paper. This would lead to disaster of many failures in the class. When this happens, it shall be the end of me once again. The usual routine of Nagging, follow by yeaking, than scolding, than blasting, than the holy fucked up cane, than the crying part, than the disown part, than the Quit NCC Air right at the bloody fucked up moment, than i wan to call Mr Tong, than call Miss Ng and than withdraw me from school.
This week i lived in a time of total 'blurness". I m sooo lost in life at this moment becouse of all the Exam stress, Mental stress, Physical Stress. I'm so lost when it comes to Studies. Especially in Maths, Both Elementry and Additional.
"....sigh...." I need some Enlightenment from God to help me during this point of time. no one can help me now. I'm hopeless!!. I Feel Hopeless, Useless, Good-for-nothing and incapable of being a Human Being.
Hm......... Going throught some reflection right now!!
thinking...............
.....................................................................................................
I think i should just look at the other side if life. Start the War of EXAM right now and stop slacking. (anyway i'm not slacking now wat??)
Praying hard that God will give me all the enlighterment to pass all my subjects!!
Time to Stop Typing again and get back to my normal self
Yeap!! this was waht had happen to my Dictonary when it failed me!!
Dam IT MAN FUCK CREATIVE
NEVER BUY THINGS FORM CREATIVE !!!
Flying off
Z.K.Koh Shawn
That Guitar Strummed again
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
Here it goes again. Another week gone, without much revision for the Dumb Mid-year examination that was specially set for my class. The Cream of the Crop Normal Academic class.
CCA step down on Monday. Many of us the Secondary 4 was made to step down from our Beloved CCA. For the sake of our O level, but the good thing about my class is that most of us are to stay in the CCA till next year. For example, Jun liang and me would be place is the Units' Advisers for NCC (air); Our CCA.
This week was a normal week. Not much happenings in school except the fact that there is no CCA yesterday. For this week there was free period for us to have our own quiet time to do our stuff and the best part is Listening to music in class. Music as everyone would know is by far one of my favourite topic. Throughout this week I've been staying back in school to experiment on blogskins. With all that effort i manage to change the blogskin till what it is today.
On Monday, There was the 2.4 Km run for NAPFA ( not sure how to spell ah). I feel that this Physical Tests are a little waste of time. Even though fitness is important but the passing timing is too inflexible. Why can't the ministry just change to timing and passing rate according to height and weight? By the way again i Fail the bloody run test. As expected, but the good part is that my timing has improve by 3 minutes. A great achievement.
This week was a week of physical training for me. I ran for 2.4 twice this week. One on Monday another yesterday. I found out that running was quite a nice thing to do to distress a little and to escape from all the bloody homework and all the bloody shit that i have to go through at home. Also through Running i can get to slim down to the desire size for CLT course and the best Airborne course ( Parachuting). By next year i wish to slim till about 66+ and gain at least a NAPFA Silver. This target will be met only if i have the time and freedom to go train up. Also many of you would have judge my size and say that i' trying to do the impossible. Personally i also feel that it is impossible, but if i try i will try to do it. Hope i can go run again today.
"...sigh..." on to love life. Watch as many goes all around with all that love written on the couples face. i was a little envious. My own love life was a a state of mess. With my current other Half being indecisive on patching up after our break up a few months ago. We still have feelings for each other but.... Our #!$!%$^%$^%&*&*%@^%%!@#!%$%$% parents are the main obstacle to this relationship. To say the truth, i still have love for her. Wish that she was mine and by my side.
Hmm...... Oh ya! yesterday i was asked if i would want to attend the IACE (International Air Cadet Exchange Program). It is an INbound course whereby we would play host. Still pondering on weather i should go and gain more experience about life oversea. Can someone give my some advice on this.
It a sad thing to end an Entry on my blog as this means that i can no longer express my thought in any other forms. Back to the reality whereby I'm trap in a world that never accept me. A world that is not fair to anyone at all.
".....Sigh....."
Flying off once again
Z.K.Koh Shawn
That Guitar Strummed again
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
Had been Trying to Edit my blogskin the entire week in air room.
The reward of this was a successful edit of my blog.
Now as you can see it has been edited to my favourite topic or theme.
MUSIC
Being a violinist, Music would naturally be my interest, but as i grow up, my interest would shift to other areas. At this moment, the instrument that seems and looks most appealing to me is the Guitar. I personally own a Acoustic Guitar. Even thought i have this instrument, i never really got the hang of strumming it to perfection. I had always thought of being a Self-taught Guitarist but judging by my current situation, i can never make it. The "O" Level Chinese, The countless tests, the piles of homework that can never be finished. the worst part is my !#@!$%$^&*(()((&&%^$!#@~!#~#!@$ parents.
"...Sigh..." With All this huge obstacle. I wonder how am i going to pull throught all this stress adding topics.
Flying off
Z.K.Koh Shawn
That Guitar Strummed again
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
There goes another week. Another week closer to the Holy "O" Level Chinese examination. One more week mearer to the common test for chinese. One more week closer to my Mid-year examinations.One more week closer to my ROD(retairement of duty) From NCC Air.
With soo many thing on going, passing by, how can one be not stress up by this elements.
This week started with sharp pain from my throat. The common sore throat had come upon me.
As the day goes by, Lesson, Recess, Lesson than go home. A boring process percive by most, but to a very sad case i was born to the wrong type of family with the wrong type of displining method. First of all i always get scolding for all the wrong reasons. For example, Just tonight, My sister could not finish her stupid, dumb 80 Word composition. I was scolded for being an incompitain Brother. For not helping her. This was like totally unfair for me as i totally did not know what was happening. Also another unfair treatment, the purchasing of Handphones, or whatever purchases. My father always repeat the same phrase " You must be fair to Kenneth, what i buy for you and him must be same". Which means the same model, same colour, same type of line, same type of restriction. It like come on i'm lky 15 soon 16. Even Singtel allows me to sign a line on my own.
Freedom is another issue i wanna highlight in this part of the entry. At Secondary 1 level, all my friends and i MEAN BLOOD ALL OF MY FRIENDS, were allow to go out on their own. Visit the arcarde for a little stress relieve, having a meal or two with their good friends. Stay back at school for some chats. Even Calls to chat abouts the days activities were not allows in my BLOODY household. Going out for a light jog or whatever exercise routine was also banned (that should explain my size and weight problem). See the amount of restriction i have? Compare it to any ordinary girl. Try it now! than Tag and tell me, whose parent are more consevative.
Now back to study issue. A-math test this week. Yeap! Flunck it again. Always flunck A-Maths. No matter how i try to study i alway fail that Subject. Infact all my subject sucks to the core. Always has the urge to study at the wrong time. Also too always to lazy to move, cause of my weight problem. When i study, there is not one that understands my need to help me. If i ask my father i'll be scolded non stop, I MEAN NON STOP! ASk my teachers? They'll keep nagging before they start teaching. Asking some of my closer friends, the answer is always " Dunno??". In this progress how thw hell am i suppose to score good grades.
When i am incapable to getting the desired grades by the school my parent would have to meet my teachers. That bothers me the most at this moment. Every year, when my parents meet my teacher, nother good always come out from their mouth. I can never hear a teacher prasing me but that little bit. Plus my parents, as u would read on the top, They are crazy. the mini-second u step into the house you will instantanously get lashing of the cane, crashing of furniture at you, the maximum volime of scream and shout hurled at you. Blood, sweat and tears as u hear as a good phrase to discribe hard work is now use to describe ones tortment.
"sigh...." This world is not a good place for me to be in. Should i be born into another world or another family with a better rule or law which is less strict than my current one, i would be a little happier than now. As the OBS instructor has add to my name "Endueran" shows the great enduremant in me. So here i am enduring all the pain, agony, stress, being Jail .. Etc..
Tomorrow would be the last NCC Training for this first half of the year. An yet the Training would be a bored one. "...sigh..." Shold be sleeping at this instent but breaking a huge rule of my house right now bring a little freedom to express myself in this post i am typing out at the moment.
Since there is Training and it only apporprate for Sergeants to be early at school. I'm off blogging for today.
Flying off
Z.K.Koh Shawn
That Guitar Strummed again
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
The Violin got mysteriously bowed
